Sensory Calm
Sundowning: What to Do in the Hard Hours
A free resource from Sweetwater Groves Residential Assisted Living — Scottsdale, Arizona.
Ongoing routineLast updated 2026-07-29
If you have found this page in the late afternoon, with the light going and your loved one pacing and asking to go home while standing in their own living room, take one breath. You are not doing this wrong.
Sundowning — increased confusion, restlessness, and urgency as the day fades — is one of the most common and most exhausting parts of dementia caregiving. It is not caused by anything you did, and it is rarely fixed by explaining. But it does respond, often quite well, to rhythm and environment.
The approach below is about building a shape for the afternoon rather than reacting to a crisis at 5 p.m.
There is a free printable sheet at the bottom of this page — no signup, nothing to buy.
Jump to the printableStart at 3 p.m., not at 5
The single most useful change most families make is moving earlier. By the time agitation has arrived, options narrow to comfort and patience. Two hours before, you can still steer.
Build a fixed, boring, repeatable mid-afternoon: a snack, a bathroom visit, the curtains and lamps handled, music on, one thing in the hands. The sameness is the point. Predictability is calming in a way that novelty never is.
- •3:00 — snack and something to drink; low blood sugar and thirst amplify everything
- •3:15 — bathroom, unprompted and matter-of-fact
- •3:30 — turn on lamps before the light changes; close blinds against glare
- •3:45 — familiar music, low volume, no television
- •4:00 — one hands-on task: folding, sorting, watering, walking
Change the room before you change the person
- •Turn lights on early — dim rooms and long shadows drive confusion
- •Close blinds on windows that show reflections at dusk; a reflection can read as a stranger
- •Turn the television off, not down — evening news and crowd noise are a common trigger
- •Reduce the number of people talking at once
- •Keep the temperature slightly cool and check for anything uncomfortable: shoes, waistbands, a full bladder, pain
What to say when they want to go home
"Home" is usually not an address. It is a feeling of safety, and often a house from decades ago. Correcting the geography rarely helps and frequently escalates.
Join them instead. "Tell me about home. Who's there?" Then move the moment along with a small task or a walk. Agreeing with the feeling and redirecting the body works far more often than reasoning with the facts.
- •"I know. Let's have some tea first, then we'll see about it."
- •"Tell me about the house. What was the kitchen like?"
- •"Walk with me to the end of the hall and back — I could use the company."
- •Avoid: "You are home," "We talked about this," "Don't you remember?"
Sundowning in a Scottsdale summer
Our light and our heat make this particular part of dementia distinctly local, and it is worth planning for the season you are actually in.
- •Summer: blinds stay closed all day against heat, so rooms are already dim by mid-afternoon. Put lamps on a timer for 3:30 p.m.
- •Summer evenings stay hot until well after dark — a short walk is often better at 6:30 a.m. than at 6:30 p.m.
- •Winter: sunset arrives near 5:30, and that quick fade is a common trigger. Start the routine at 3 p.m. from November through February.
- •Monsoon storms bring sudden darkness and thunder mid-afternoon; have the music and lamps ready before the sky turns.
- •Low winter sun through west-facing Scottsdale windows creates glare and hard shadows — sheer shades help more than you would expect.
More for Valley families: memory care in Scottsdale, memory support in a residential home, and assisted living near Paradise Valley.
Scottsdale, AZ
Free printable
The 3 p.m. Card
The 3 p.m. Card
Tape this inside a kitchen cabinet. It is written for the person on duty at three o'clock — you, a sibling, a caregiver, or a neighbor sitting in for an afternoon.
The routine
- 3:00 Snack + something to drink
- 3:15 Bathroom, no discussion needed
- 3:30 Lamps on, blinds closed
- 3:45 Familiar music, low. TV off.
- 4:00 One task in the hands
Tasks that work in these hours
- Fold warm towels straight from the dryer
- Sort silverware, buttons, coins, or cards
- Water plants, one at a time
- Walk the hallway or driveway with no destination
- Hand massage with lotion
If they want to go home
- Agree with the feeling, not the facts
- "Tell me about home. Who's there?"
- Offer tea, then a short walk
- Never: "You are home." "Remember?"
Check first
- Hungry? Thirsty? Bathroom?
- Too warm, too dim, too loud?
- Pain, tight shoes, itchy clothing?
- Most sundowning has a physical piece.
Free printable worksheets
Sheets that go with this activity
Each one is tagged by stage, so you can pick the version that fits where your loved one is today. Large print, thick outlines, answer key on its own page.